In his book  “These Things Called Empathy,” social psychologist Daniel Batson examines a whopping eight different ways people use the word.

 Seung Chan Lim (Slim) wrote "What I worry about is  misunderstandings in relation to the word  empathy can make people see it as a mere “buzz word,” without ever looking beyond its surface.

As a matter of fact, empathising is more often than not completely confused with another phenomena, sympathising, which means “to feel sorry for someone.”   

So lets see how the word is used in relation to getting what we want. 



Seung Chan Lim the writer of  the award-winning book titled "Realizing Empathy ."  says "One of the most difficult parts of writing my book has been to come to a resolution on what empathy is.   " I've spent 18 years exploring the role of design & empathy in innovation. " Apart from writing  Slim  he has won awards such as the CES innovation award . Plus many others. It was his book which brought to my attention the connection between empathy and getting what you want.

This Resonates

Slim said "I browsed through what felt like a hundred different definitions of empathy. It all came down to a simple fact. Empathy is, first and foremost, a word. Not any word, but a word invented to explain an event ." When I first read this I was completely lost . 

An event ? 

Not a synonym.

As a result, it is often misunderstood as a synonym for being nice, kind, polite, or even altruistic toward others

The Ethologist Frans De Waal says " There exists in fact no obligatory connection between empathy and kindness, and no animal can afford treating everyone nicely all the time. "
At the same time they can seek to understand.