Before I can do business with or communicate on an equal playing field I need to connect with that person. Again this may sound obvious but many people forget this simple single factor which would create more business or closer friendships for them in life. Even professionals forget,for repeat business and lasting relationships connecting is the key.
I find that the doctor ,mechanic, butcher or any person I do business with is the one I have connect with best. They may not be the best doctor or mechanic I have no way of knowing this unless I do an enormous amount of research but if their people skills have me connect with them they are the one I seem to choose In reality I would think the better doctors may have the worst people skills and rely on reputation but for most average patients like myself we have no way of knowing .
To me it would appear it is not your intelligence, your education or your physical attributes which are the key to long term connection but how effective your people skills are. I have found intelligence,education and physical attributes all lead to connection at times but usually this is short lived.
Les Giblin in his book HOW TO BE PEOPLE SMART tells us of the rewards of connecting with others or as he puts it being people smart. Giblin says "The rewards that come from skills with people are many and varied." I personally notice no matter what your main driving force in life is be it recognition,friendship,security, good people skills work to fill your needs.
Giblin listed other rewards people receive by using people skills to connect with others. In general those who use people skills receive more income, more and better friends, more recognition, more promotion, more approval, more security,more confidence,more satisfaction, more superiority plus less fear and worry.
Giblin tells us most people are more interested in themselves than they are about any one or anything else. I will admit I did not agree with this when I first heard it and put up many examples which I thought contradicted this law. I now agree it is in deed a Universal Truth . We are hard wired this way. We shouldn't be embarrassed or apologetic at this common trait.
IT IS THE RECOGNITION OF THIS TRAIT THAT ENABLES US TO BE PEOPLE SMART
Most people when they have a little training in building LIFE SKILLS invariably self defeat when it comes to reinforcing and increasing their knowledge. Almost automatically these people see a program and they almost say subconsciously "I know all that" or "I've been through that." Dismissing the words because of what they assume is boredom.
I still remember the day when I realized it was not boredom which prevented me from reading the words I had heard many times before. For some reason I asked myself "Why do people keep saying the same thing over and over again when it is so obvious. ?" It was then I realized the words were very logical and made complete sense . Even the result of taking the recommended action was obvious. Then I thought if this is so obvious and the results are guaranteed why am I not doing it?
How many times had I heard? "We were given two ears and one mouth in order for us to listen twice as much as we speak." How many times had I read it? How many times had I practiced it? Probably zero. Did I think it would have any affect on my life ? If all the experts said it would I probably believed it would. Why did I not take action years ago? Why did I wait until one specific day before I understood?
I realized the resistance in hearing the words was because my sub conscious rejected the idea because it did not fit in with the beliefs it had installed from the past. Any change results in an internal conflict between our conscious mind and our conscious mind.